myself. for some reason the green monster, that some refer to as jealousy chased me, put a mask on me, and made me be horrible. i want it to go away. why is it that a perfectly lovely young lady such as myself has to feel insecure? i just want to let go of the negative events of the past, and just learn to fully trust and judge. where has the carefree fun woman gone? she is there somewhere, i would just like her to come out right now. is it that i am sitting for hours by myself working on the computer in solidarity? is it that i am just not satisfied with myself, i have to find the answer. the green monster and i have rarely met before, and so it's all new to me. how to deal with it when it comes. it can be good to ignore it, just for a minute, and then it will leave you alone eventually. learning to not always act on every emotion, every discomfort. it's about others as well, definitely. i know this, i have so much love to give, but when the monster comes around i am someone that i cannot stand. i want to be young free and beautiful. so i will get my monster poison out. so here is to a fresh start and remembering that i am beautiful and fun and there are many other beautiful people in the world.
had to let that out, somewhere
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