In past months, I have been running away from myself. Or from something-not sure what though. Making excuses for everything. Emotional issues, all the pain that I have been running away from since high school is right in my face now. Now that I have decided to stay in the same City for at least one year. A big step for me. I don't know what it is, I am so in love, but the other parts of my life just aren't living up to their standards. I am only steps away from finally getting my business degree, but I can't seem to bring myself to do it. I keep feeling sorry for myself, being sad and being dramatic. I have been a train wreck. I don't know what the issue is? Lonely, that must be it. So now I am looking for a new apartment in a more exciting part of the city, the idea behind that being that I can then partake in social events, maybe find a saucy tango dance class to take, some yoga, and be surrounded by more people. Perhaps, I will find a little inspiration here? I would be closer to the place where I like to play piano. Everything would be better. I actually think that would solve my problem. I love people, that is my strength is charming the socks of others, or maybe it's just because I am so damn nice to look at? However, I need to finish my school, switch apartments, get passionate, move to Berlin......4 steps. I want to also enjoy the present moment. I can't stand to be in a state of unhappiness, because I am lonely and sit alone in front of my PC all day with no real human interaction. Up and down my mood goes, side to side my emotions flare up. I can hardly stand myself. Spiritual enlightment, fulfillment is what I need. Yoga will help me find that. But there is more. I need more I am hungry for something- and I have no idea what it is. I must remember to continue my school. I will mark my progress everyday. Because what i have accomplished int he past few months, is nothing but embarrassing. So close but yet so far.